Our worst decisions as parents usually occur when we lead with our emotions. As a parent, there are many days when you are tired, have a lot on your mind, or both. It is in these instances when we say or do something that we later find regrettable. We know that we could have spoken instead of screamed; we could have paused instead of cut our child off in mid-sentence, and we could have set clear consequences instead of shouting a threat.
Parenting is hard. You are passionate about your family and want the very best for them. Of course, how “the very best” is defined and acted upon is the stuff of sitcoms, stereotypes, and grey hair.
What if we could press rewind on some of our exchanges with our kids? What would we do differently?
When I think of calm under fire, I liken it to an emergency room doctor when a tragedy strikes, a fireman when the bell goes off, or an NFL coach with time winding down in a playoff game among 70,000 screaming fans. What if we all could parent amid a storm with such coolheaded-ness?
What I think is that the ER doctor, the fireman, and the NFL coach all have passion— just like a parent has passion. But at times when the heat is on, they can act dispassionately to make clear decisions.
Is it possible to be passionate and dispassionate with your financial decision making? Does it help to be passionate and dispassionate?
Not only do I believe it’s possible, but I believe it is necessary to have the right perspective.
Like raising children, creating and conserving your wealth is done successfully when you make the right choices about what to be passionate about and what to be dispassionate about.
Let’s review some examples:
You can see that sticking to a plan and a process you’ve put in with a non-emotional methodology is key.
Raising children is much like creating wealth. Like investing, you are not going to get every parenting decision right, so don’t beat yourself up. I hope no one judges us by our worst parenting decision or our worst investing decision.
You likely won’t see the results of your “work” for many years, and in the middle, you will examine your decisions a lot. You’ll question yourself because there are so many things you don’t know or can’t control. But, if you make reasoned decisions based on a long-term view, you, your children, and your finances will be better off.
I make a promise to my clients, when it comes to their finances I will be as dispassionate as the best ER Doctor can be in times of chaos and I will stick to a non-emotional methodology for them.
Author: David Jeter, CFP® | Allegheny Financial Group | May 2018
Allegheny Financial Group is a Registered Investment Advisor. Securities offered through Allegheny Investments, LTD, a registered broker/dealer. Member FINRA/SIPC. The above comments are provided for discussion purposes only and are not meant to be an offer of any specific investment or tax advice.